IDGAF!!

Hello Frands!

It’s been awhile and since I can’t come up with any new topics – I figured I would share this article! I found it to be EVERYTHING!

Also, this piece was written from a woman’s perspective but it is most certainly applicable to both sexes!!

DISCLAIMER: It’s censored by the author. Obviously IDGAF!

13 F*cks You Stop Giving When You’re A Grown Woman

 By TheBolde

At some point, you reach an age where you can’t possibly, even if you tried, give any less of a f*ck. You’re done with worrying about what others think, adhering to stupid-ass rules prescribed by stupid ass-people, and you realize who you want in your inner circle and who you want banished forever and ever. It’s not that you’ve become a cantankerous b*tch in your older years, but just that you’ve lived long enough to be f*cking over pretty much everything. In other words, you simply have no more f*cks to give.

Are you to that point in your life? Have you been fortunate enough to have reached the ultimate status of having no more f*cks to give? If so, then you’ll know these 13 f*cks you stop giving to be true.

1. GIVING A F*CK ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE’S OPINIONS.
Gah! Other people’s opinions, especially when they’re about you, should be moot once you’ve become a grown woman. It’s when you let the opinions of others dictate your life that your life becomes a cesspool of negativity and a total waste.

2. GIVING A F*CK ABOUT RIDICULOUS FASHION RULES.
No white after Labor Day? F*ck it. No horizontal stripes unless you’re a size 0? F*ck that f*cking sh*t. No bikini or mini-skirt after 30? In the immortal words of Bikini Kill, suck my left one. Seriously.

3. GIVING A F*CK ABOUT YOUR EX.
You broke up for a reason and that reason is probably somewhere between him being awful and him being the worst, so it’s your job not to give any f*cks about him or what he might think of you.

4. GIVING A F*CK ABOUT BEING POLITE IN BED.
As a grown ass woman, you’re not just a walk-on in your bedroom, but the f*cking star. If you don’t get what you want and how you want it, you throw being polite out the window and woman-the-f*ck-up about it.

5. GIVING A F*CK ABOUT BITING YOUR TONGUE.
While in your earlier years some situations may have called for biting one’s tongue, it’s time to f*ck that. If someone says or does something that pisses you off or disrespects you in any way, then speak up. Even if that person is your boss.

6. GIVING A F*CK ABOUT ENDING TOXIC RELATIONSHIPS.
Some people are bad for us! Some people, even if they’re not cognizant of it, are horrific, toxic influences in our lives. You have no more f*cks to give them or what your life will be like without them – it won’t be a loss, that’s for sure.

7. GIVING A F*CK ABOUT YOUR MISTAKES.
Your mistakes do not define you; they’re merely pieces in your life that have made you who you are. That is all. Mistakes do not hold you back, do not open doors to judgment, or ruin your life. They’re necessary obstacles and not only do you not give a f*ck about them, but you’re practically grateful for them.
8. GIVING A F*CK ABOUT FITTING IN.
Some people spend their whole lives trying to fit in only to realize that those who want to belong are just f*cking boring! Why would anyone want to be another sheep among millions of sheep? No thanks. Fly your freak flag and roll solo.

9. GIVING A F*CK ABOUT SOCIAL MEDIA.
In some not so breaking new, social media is not real life. People “liking” your tweet or “unfriending” you on Facebook is not something to get your panties in a twist over. In other words? You have no f*cks to give on this front.

10. GIVING A F*CK ABOUT HAVING THE “PERFECT” BODY.
You have the perfect body for YOU and that’s all that matters. Now reach for those Doritos and order another pizza, for f*ck’s sake woman!

11. GIVING A F*CK ABOUT STATUS SYMBOLS.
Owning a Louis Vuitton bag or only wearing Chanel makeup is not going to make you a better person. Also, who even knows if that mascara is Dior or f*cking Maybelline?

12. GIVING A F*CK ABOUT WHAT YOU CAN’T CONTROL.
There will always be things that are out of your control, and when you quit giving a f*ck about them you’ll finally feel free.

13. GIVING A F*CK ABOUT NOT GIVING A F*CK.
In life, you need to choose your battles. You need to decide what deserves your f*cks and what doesn’t. When you give a f*ck, give it 150 percent, when you don’t also give it 150 percent. You should never half-ass anything, especially your f*cks.

Source: TheBolde

 

 

Mooooooove, Bitch! Get Out The Way!

For the record, I don’t mind sharing the road with pedestrians, bicycles, cars, pedal pubs, buses, motorcycles, Vespas, Segways, tripod roadsters, skaters, trolleys, strollers, wagons, wheelbarrows, hot wheels, hover boards,  animals, metro transits – basically anything moving that is street or sidewalk legal. I only have issues with those that are assholes and disobey the traffic rules and laws without any regards to consequences or repercussions. When on the street, the traffic laws DO apply to you. For fuck’s sake, look up the laws!

One particular group that gives me insane, white-hot road rage is the dicks on bicycles. Let me repeat, “DICKS ON BICYCLES”, meaning – those that fuck up your safety, others’ safety and their safety while on the road. To be EXTRA clear, if you ride a bike and you aren’t a dick, this doesn’t apply to you.

I’ve had several close encounters with the avid cyclist, cycling clubs, or just plain fucking idiots that appear to be drunk ninjas who come out of nowhere! GO HOME, YOU’RE DRUNK!

There are also times when I am positive that some cyclists are seeking a death wish, set on the side of the road! Not sure if it’s their entitlement (king of the castle) attitude, their mistaken ability of being invincible, or perhaps their arrogant thoughts of “no laws apply to me”.

DISCLAIMER: Of course I wouldn’t want/wish for any deaths or accidents to occur…I WOULD want  for us to all get along, on the road…sharing the road. Sharing is caring.

Tips for the Avid Dick Cyclist:

  • The stop sign/light DOES apply to you
  • If I reach a stop sign, or stoplight, corner before you –> Car > Cyclist
    • I TURN FIRST, Mother Fucker! – Before you proceed with any movement
  • Wear reflective gear at night! Shit, I can’t see in the damn dark – no night vision here!
  • Use your hand signals. If you don’t know them, then you shouldn’t be biking. GTFO!

Tips for the Cycling Club of Dicks:

  • The stop sign/light DOES apply to you
  • Your mass doesn’t grant you immunity from traffic laws
  • Unless the streets are closed for your event, the entire group is required to stop at stop signs/stop lights unless you want to be flattened like “Flat Tyler” or “Flat Pat” (Garbage Pail Kid reference for those born after me)
    • It’s called Law of Motion (Law of Inertia) – Car beats cyclist. Every. Time.

Tips for the Drunk Dick Cyclist:

  • Just one – GO HOME!
    • Take an Uber/Taxi

I understand that I may have offended some people…if so, then you must have been one of those assholes that I passed, while flicking the bird, as you were biking 2 miles per hour on a busy street, in the middle of rush hour, and on a Friday. Moooooooooove, BITCH! I have a GD happy hour to get to!

Share the roads! Obey the traffic laws! Be safe!

 

 

Tough Girls Cry

Last month my family received (for the second time) shocking news of a horrific accident involving an immediate family member. One is never prepared on how to feel, what to do and how to react. Most people publicly show sympathy, empathy and grieve outwardly. It is just as important to grieve as it is to mourn. With that being said, it is even more crucial to deal with these circumstances head on verses holding it all in until you explode with emotion at the most inopportune time.

If you are similar to me, my way of showing is a bit more complicated with a hint of detachment. My mind heads in the direction of compartmentalization when first processing this type of news in order to create a plan or strategy to “fix” while maintaining a strong facade.

My analytical psyche starts to think of all of the possible surrounding responsibilities, issues and functions that I can act on to repair or mitigate due to feeling helpless in the current situation. Taking charge and leadership over “processes” helps me to feel as if I am contributing, but in a detached manner. (This mindset became second nature to me ever since the age of 14 – when I left my home to relocate to a foster home. Having to grow up quickly in an outside setting coupled with facing difficult life decisions as a teen has contributed to my present coping skills.)

In regards to the accident, my mind took two weeks before I experienced an emotional breakdown which unfortunately happened while I was at work. Luckily, my office was empty and I was saved from embarrassment of having to publicly display my ugly cry face complete with hyperventilating. Suppression was a huge factor in my delay of emoting and it hit me all at once like a ton of bricks.

It was not pretty. It happened in the midst of a phone call where I completely broke down in uncontrollable sobbing for at least a minute straight. Thankfully the person on the other end was kind and reacted with compassion and concern. After I finally got my shit together, I was able to semi save face, call back and finish out my phone conversation.

My first mistake was choosing not to emote as I continued my daily routine – removed. My internal struggle was fear of having someone see me appear as “weak” when I am perceived as the strong one within my friend circles and family. Holding onto that perception with a tight grip skewed my view on myself to maintain a strong, stoic position when faced with extremely emotional situations affecting me or people close to me.

My second mistake was to hold all of my friends and family to enormously high expectations in the ability to mind read my needs and then become equally frustrated and angry when my needs weren’t being met. It was a double-edged sword type of situation – one couldn’t help if they tried and those that tried didn’t help. I was angry at the world mostly due to frustration at not being able to magically fix my family member or turn back time to prevent the accident from happening. #angerdisplacment

For that I am sorry. I am sorry for lashing out/pushing people away/blowing people off. I’ve felt like a crazy person for the past month, but have come to realize that I am neither a superhuman nor a fucking robot! Being strong can only go so far and we all have our tipping point and well…we all know what happens next. FREAK OUT!

A few helpful suggestions to try prior to losing your shit on the daily:

  • Talk to someone, soonish – in depth
  • Grieve/mourn – appropriately & honestly
  • Let out your emotions – freedom!

 

Live and learn and be kind to yourself. You are not alone in this process.

 

Hi there, How Can I NOT Help You?

Have you ever dialed a 1-800 number, typed in your 16 digit account number/verification code, then answered 20 questions and 20 prompts later – only to be met with a person on the other line that asks you to repeat the info you just typed in AND then decides to be a lazy fucker and become unresponsive to your questions?!! Oh yeah, if not – please call your student loan servicers, insurance office, phone/internet/cable/utility companies, banks, or credit card company. These are just a few businesses included in the death circle that can make you feel like flipping a fucking table, pulling out your hair or punching someone in the GD throat. #raging

I’ve since come up with a cheat sheet below on how to avoid some of the madness as well as pressure the “customer service person” to do their fucking job. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve been on the other side and pride myself on providing good customer service on a daily basis even though it’s “not my job”.

By the time you call these businesses and reach a live person you are probably out for blood and on a full rampage. What I try to do from the get-go is preface the call with, “I am not upset at you, but I am upset at the problem.” 9 times out of 10, the person will show compassion and will want to assist you in fixing the problem and immediately start diffusing the situation. If that doesn’t work, please refer to the items below to save your sanity.

Avoiding 20 Prompts – this seems to work 80% of the time. Saves me having to answer about 20 questions via the automated lady and will quickly connect me to a live person, therefore, lowering my blood pressure and anxiety level to slightly elevated.

  • Press “0”, (zero) at every option possible, ALL OPTIONS
  • Ask for “customer service rep” at all voice prompts
  • As for a “supervisor”
  • Don’t waste time entering your info in; you will only end up repeating it all to the rep as if they don’t see shit on their screen or that “it didn’t come through”. All that work. #wasteoftime

Flat Answers– when you speak to a person that gives you flat answers or stays quiet on the other end. They appear unresponsive and cold which makes you wish you could crawl through the phone line to strangle them!

Them: “I don’t know”

Me: “Can you transfer me to someone who does know?”

Them: <silence>

Me: “Are you there? Yes, no? Should I call back when you are done napping or when your done playing your turn on Words?”

Are you fucking kidding me? If you don’t know, then maybe you shouldn’t be working there. Perhaps answering with, “I don’t know, but I can find someone who can help or get you to the right person” would make you look like less of a dumbass and helpful at the same time. Politeness and helpfulness goes a long way people. I don’t mind waiting if someone is sincerely tracking down an answer or another person that can help.

Them: “That’s not my department”

Me: “Can you transfer me to someone IN the right department, then?”

Are you really trying to shut my shit down? What department do you work in? The big “fuck you” department? I am sure your manager isn’t paying you to sit at your desk and answer the phone with the silent treatment.

Them: “That’s not my job”

Me: “What exactly IS your job? What CAN you do for me? Please transfer me to someone whose job it is then.”

Time to get a new fucking job BETCH if you are unable to help or unable to defer me to someone who can! You shouldn’t be at the front line, answering phones if you cannot provide answers or who to transfer someone to. All I want is answers. If you don’t know, politely put me on hold to find out where to pass me along to – not that hard.

Escalation – I tend to save this option as my last resort, right before I cut someone. I request to speak with the person’s supervisor who technically should be trained in handling raging customers who have reached their max level of patience. Supervisors are usually apologetic, helpful, offer solutions to my problems and immediately start working on solving the issue(s) at hand.

  • Start with this option if you only have 10 minutes tops to deal
  • Write complaint letters to the president/owner
  • Write complaint letters to the Better Business Bureau, State’s Attorney General and the Federal regulating company for that business

After taking a 10 minute break, I am now ready to conclude this blog.

Although sometimes you encounter douche bags that have no clue what the hell they are doing in their job, there is always the flip side – receiving amazing customer service where all of the stars align perfectly and your problems are solved in 5 minutes flat!

It is always best to set the call starting with a positive attitude, politeness and clearly explain your situation. Setting an even tone from the moment you speak can go a long ways in getting what you want without the unnecessary drama.

Rant Over.