Knowing is Half the Battle – Finance 101

Do you ever feel as if you are constantly struggling with adulting? Learning lessons the hard way or completing your task(s) the painfully long way? Full-time struggle bus in effect? SAME! I am well into my 30’s and still finding out new (to me) processes for grown-up tasks that would have been nice to know at my very moody AF age of 17. Not sure if my emo self would have given two shits, but heck, it would have been worth a shot.

Adulting (v): to do grown up things and hold responsibilities such as, a 9-5 job, a mortgage/rent, a car payment, or anything else that makes one think of grown ups.

Used in a sentence: Jane is adulting quite well today as she is on time for work promptly at 8am and appears well groomed.  

If you don’t know what I am talking about, consider yourself lucky to have avoided this nonsense and be prepared for prime examples in adulting adversities – finance focused! Or, just skip this blog because you’ve had your shit together since day 1.

I have a list chock-full of fucked up decisions that can lead to long term problems. Of course I am listing these for a friend.  -_-

  • Bouncing checks and incurring overdraft fees that total more than what you have in all of your bank accounts.
  • Buried in student loans that are far greater than your salary.
  • Racking up credit card debt on multiple cards at 30%+ APR.
  • Fucking up your credit score with multiple late payments.
  • Buying a car from the first dealer you encounter and paying sticker price.

Here are my top “adulting” lessons in learning order. Most of you have already experienced all of these “lessons”- but I’m jotting these down for future reference when teaching my children about responsibilities. Here’s to hoping this information is still accurate when that happens. HA!

1. Budgeting

Take your debt (bills) – income = money for savings & entertainment. Easy right? Suuuuuuure, if you remember the balance in your account! Create a spreadsheet to organize and plan. #thatspreadsheetlife

2. Checkbook Balancing

Did you write a check? Subtract that from your balance because yes, that’s money coming out of your account at a later date. Enter that into your spreadsheet.  #spreadsheets4life

3. College Scholarships vs. Grants vs. School Loan Debt

  • Plan A: Try to get a scholarship for your entire college career. Fully funded education.
  • Plan B: Obtain as many grants as you can. Free money.
  • Plan C: Take out school loans (no one wants loans, but if there isn’t any other way, then do so. Mind the interest rate and pay your loans back on time. Otherwise, they will come after you and your firstborn child.

4. FICO/Credit Score

Similar but not the same. Both are used to evaluate credit risk. These scores will follow you and run your life 25/8 in all financial aspects. Want a loan to buy a car? Meet FICO/Credit Score. Want a loan to buy a house? It’s FICO/Credit Score again! In some cases, it may be checked in certain job scenarios. Only rule you need to remember:

  • Pay your credit card bills/loans on time. Every time.

5. Credit Cards

  • Open 2 max with a rating of “good” to “excellent” credit score.
  • Research the cards to find rewards and benefits best suited for your lifestyle along with a tolerable APR.
  • Use around 15%-20% to manage and maintain your credit score.
  • Always pay on time or pay off balances monthly.
  • Pay more than the minimum.

6. Car Loans

  • Study the best and worst times when to buy a car:
  • Research the car in question – especially the safety ratings and consumer reviews. Lifesaving decision here people.
  • Utilize a car pricing report to see what the average price is so you don’t get ripped off.
  • Read reviews on multiple car dealers to find the most reputable company to do business with. Some dealers are shady AS FUCK!
  • Locate car loan companies/banks that will provide the best APR. Why overpay? DERP!

Listen up superintendents of education in all the land of the U.S. of A. – add these important life lessons to the high-school curriculum so that future generations don’t fail!

Some of us weren’t privileged enough to have been handed down this information due to varying circumstances. Having your shit together is everything. Because who wants to pay for mistakes you made as a young adult, well into your 30’s? FML. #lessonslearned

kthanksbye

Urban Dictionary. Retrieved from http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Adulting

IDGAF!!

Hello Frands!

It’s been awhile and since I can’t come up with any new topics – I figured I would share this article! I found it to be EVERYTHING!

Also, this piece was written from a woman’s perspective but it is most certainly applicable to both sexes!!

DISCLAIMER: It’s censored by the author. Obviously IDGAF!

13 F*cks You Stop Giving When You’re A Grown Woman

 By TheBolde

At some point, you reach an age where you can’t possibly, even if you tried, give any less of a f*ck. You’re done with worrying about what others think, adhering to stupid-ass rules prescribed by stupid ass-people, and you realize who you want in your inner circle and who you want banished forever and ever. It’s not that you’ve become a cantankerous b*tch in your older years, but just that you’ve lived long enough to be f*cking over pretty much everything. In other words, you simply have no more f*cks to give.

Are you to that point in your life? Have you been fortunate enough to have reached the ultimate status of having no more f*cks to give? If so, then you’ll know these 13 f*cks you stop giving to be true.

1. GIVING A F*CK ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE’S OPINIONS.
Gah! Other people’s opinions, especially when they’re about you, should be moot once you’ve become a grown woman. It’s when you let the opinions of others dictate your life that your life becomes a cesspool of negativity and a total waste.

2. GIVING A F*CK ABOUT RIDICULOUS FASHION RULES.
No white after Labor Day? F*ck it. No horizontal stripes unless you’re a size 0? F*ck that f*cking sh*t. No bikini or mini-skirt after 30? In the immortal words of Bikini Kill, suck my left one. Seriously.

3. GIVING A F*CK ABOUT YOUR EX.
You broke up for a reason and that reason is probably somewhere between him being awful and him being the worst, so it’s your job not to give any f*cks about him or what he might think of you.

4. GIVING A F*CK ABOUT BEING POLITE IN BED.
As a grown ass woman, you’re not just a walk-on in your bedroom, but the f*cking star. If you don’t get what you want and how you want it, you throw being polite out the window and woman-the-f*ck-up about it.

5. GIVING A F*CK ABOUT BITING YOUR TONGUE.
While in your earlier years some situations may have called for biting one’s tongue, it’s time to f*ck that. If someone says or does something that pisses you off or disrespects you in any way, then speak up. Even if that person is your boss.

6. GIVING A F*CK ABOUT ENDING TOXIC RELATIONSHIPS.
Some people are bad for us! Some people, even if they’re not cognizant of it, are horrific, toxic influences in our lives. You have no more f*cks to give them or what your life will be like without them – it won’t be a loss, that’s for sure.

7. GIVING A F*CK ABOUT YOUR MISTAKES.
Your mistakes do not define you; they’re merely pieces in your life that have made you who you are. That is all. Mistakes do not hold you back, do not open doors to judgment, or ruin your life. They’re necessary obstacles and not only do you not give a f*ck about them, but you’re practically grateful for them.
8. GIVING A F*CK ABOUT FITTING IN.
Some people spend their whole lives trying to fit in only to realize that those who want to belong are just f*cking boring! Why would anyone want to be another sheep among millions of sheep? No thanks. Fly your freak flag and roll solo.

9. GIVING A F*CK ABOUT SOCIAL MEDIA.
In some not so breaking new, social media is not real life. People “liking” your tweet or “unfriending” you on Facebook is not something to get your panties in a twist over. In other words? You have no f*cks to give on this front.

10. GIVING A F*CK ABOUT HAVING THE “PERFECT” BODY.
You have the perfect body for YOU and that’s all that matters. Now reach for those Doritos and order another pizza, for f*ck’s sake woman!

11. GIVING A F*CK ABOUT STATUS SYMBOLS.
Owning a Louis Vuitton bag or only wearing Chanel makeup is not going to make you a better person. Also, who even knows if that mascara is Dior or f*cking Maybelline?

12. GIVING A F*CK ABOUT WHAT YOU CAN’T CONTROL.
There will always be things that are out of your control, and when you quit giving a f*ck about them you’ll finally feel free.

13. GIVING A F*CK ABOUT NOT GIVING A F*CK.
In life, you need to choose your battles. You need to decide what deserves your f*cks and what doesn’t. When you give a f*ck, give it 150 percent, when you don’t also give it 150 percent. You should never half-ass anything, especially your f*cks.

Source: TheBolde

 

 

Mooooooove, Bitch! Get Out The Way!

For the record, I don’t mind sharing the road with pedestrians, bicycles, cars, pedal pubs, buses, motorcycles, Vespas, Segways, tripod roadsters, skaters, trolleys, strollers, wagons, wheelbarrows, hot wheels, hover boards,  animals, metro transits – basically anything moving that is street or sidewalk legal. I only have issues with those that are assholes and disobey the traffic rules and laws without any regards to consequences or repercussions. When on the street, the traffic laws DO apply to you. For fuck’s sake, look up the laws!

One particular group that gives me insane, white-hot road rage is the dicks on bicycles. Let me repeat, “DICKS ON BICYCLES”, meaning – those that fuck up your safety, others’ safety and their safety while on the road. To be EXTRA clear, if you ride a bike and you aren’t a dick, this doesn’t apply to you.

I’ve had several close encounters with the avid cyclist, cycling clubs, or just plain fucking idiots that appear to be drunk ninjas who come out of nowhere! GO HOME, YOU’RE DRUNK!

There are also times when I am positive that some cyclists are seeking a death wish, set on the side of the road! Not sure if it’s their entitlement (king of the castle) attitude, their mistaken ability of being invincible, or perhaps their arrogant thoughts of “no laws apply to me”.

DISCLAIMER: Of course I wouldn’t want/wish for any deaths or accidents to occur…I WOULD want  for us to all get along, on the road…sharing the road. Sharing is caring.

Tips for the Avid Dick Cyclist:

  • The stop sign/light DOES apply to you
  • If I reach a stop sign, or stoplight, corner before you –> Car > Cyclist
    • I TURN FIRST, Mother Fucker! – Before you proceed with any movement
  • Wear reflective gear at night! Shit, I can’t see in the damn dark – no night vision here!
  • Use your hand signals. If you don’t know them, then you shouldn’t be biking. GTFO!

Tips for the Cycling Club of Dicks:

  • The stop sign/light DOES apply to you
  • Your mass doesn’t grant you immunity from traffic laws
  • Unless the streets are closed for your event, the entire group is required to stop at stop signs/stop lights unless you want to be flattened like “Flat Tyler” or “Flat Pat” (Garbage Pail Kid reference for those born after me)
    • It’s called Law of Motion (Law of Inertia) – Car beats cyclist. Every. Time.

Tips for the Drunk Dick Cyclist:

  • Just one – GO HOME!
    • Take an Uber/Taxi

I understand that I may have offended some people…if so, then you must have been one of those assholes that I passed, while flicking the bird, as you were biking 2 miles per hour on a busy street, in the middle of rush hour, and on a Friday. Moooooooooove, BITCH! I have a GD happy hour to get to!

Share the roads! Obey the traffic laws! Be safe!

 

 

Tough Girls Cry

Last month my family received (for the second time) shocking news of a horrific accident involving an immediate family member. One is never prepared on how to feel, what to do and how to react. Most people publicly show sympathy, empathy and grieve outwardly. It is just as important to grieve as it is to mourn. With that being said, it is even more crucial to deal with these circumstances head on verses holding it all in until you explode with emotion at the most inopportune time.

If you are similar to me, my way of showing is a bit more complicated with a hint of detachment. My mind heads in the direction of compartmentalization when first processing this type of news in order to create a plan or strategy to “fix” while maintaining a strong facade.

My analytical psyche starts to think of all of the possible surrounding responsibilities, issues and functions that I can act on to repair or mitigate due to feeling helpless in the current situation. Taking charge and leadership over “processes” helps me to feel as if I am contributing, but in a detached manner. (This mindset became second nature to me ever since the age of 14 – when I left my home to relocate to a foster home. Having to grow up quickly in an outside setting coupled with facing difficult life decisions as a teen has contributed to my present coping skills.)

In regards to the accident, my mind took two weeks before I experienced an emotional breakdown which unfortunately happened while I was at work. Luckily, my office was empty and I was saved from embarrassment of having to publicly display my ugly cry face complete with hyperventilating. Suppression was a huge factor in my delay of emoting and it hit me all at once like a ton of bricks.

It was not pretty. It happened in the midst of a phone call where I completely broke down in uncontrollable sobbing for at least a minute straight. Thankfully the person on the other end was kind and reacted with compassion and concern. After I finally got my shit together, I was able to semi save face, call back and finish out my phone conversation.

My first mistake was choosing not to emote as I continued my daily routine – removed. My internal struggle was fear of having someone see me appear as “weak” when I am perceived as the strong one within my friend circles and family. Holding onto that perception with a tight grip skewed my view on myself to maintain a strong, stoic position when faced with extremely emotional situations affecting me or people close to me.

My second mistake was to hold all of my friends and family to enormously high expectations in the ability to mind read my needs and then become equally frustrated and angry when my needs weren’t being met. It was a double-edged sword type of situation – one couldn’t help if they tried and those that tried didn’t help. I was angry at the world mostly due to frustration at not being able to magically fix my family member or turn back time to prevent the accident from happening. #angerdisplacment

For that I am sorry. I am sorry for lashing out/pushing people away/blowing people off. I’ve felt like a crazy person for the past month, but have come to realize that I am neither a superhuman nor a fucking robot! Being strong can only go so far and we all have our tipping point and well…we all know what happens next. FREAK OUT!

A few helpful suggestions to try prior to losing your shit on the daily:

  • Talk to someone, soonish – in depth
  • Grieve/mourn – appropriately & honestly
  • Let out your emotions – freedom!

 

Live and learn and be kind to yourself. You are not alone in this process.