Me > You

Since I have been on a dating hiatus, I thought I’d write about the importance of putting yourself first and foremost.

Now I know that many of you may not be in my situation: single, zero kids, and condo life – but it is still important to take some time for yourself to work on yourself. To have selfish moments, every once in a while, where your actions and thoughts are focused solely on you (no one else – without distractions) can really have an impact on the much needed balance in your life.

I sit here and think about this today as I reflect on the past where I had been the person to constantly put all others before me. Whether it was done for family members, friends, co-workers, or significant others, it seems as though I may have lost myself a bit in doing my best to fix, support and diffuse situations for others in time of need.

Now, I am not saying that I wouldn’t do it all again, but I am saying that for all of my efforts, this seemed to give everyone the impression that that was my only role in their lives. That I was only contacted when something went awry or if someone was in need of something. I am sure that this was partly my doing by offering my help and keeping my own issues under wraps, but this shouldn’t have kept anyone from simply asking about me.

This past year in particular, I decided to mentally disengage myself from those that I felt that caused me ill feelings, heart ache, anger, disappointment, and focused on myself and my personal goals. Although this decision left me a bit isolated, the freeing of it all felt like a huge weight had been lifted and that there was finally room to work on the things that I had put on hold for so long.

This not only freed me of the responsibility and harboring guilt, but helped me to shift my energy towards self-improvement. With that in mind, this adjustment allowed me to concentrate on letting go of things I couldn’t control, fix, mend, or heal.  I realigned my energy towards: finishing my undergrad education, hitting the gym, taking time for self-care, and saving for a much needed vacation and for a future home.

The discipline and separation were not easy, but it goes to show what can be done when you remove the unnecessary drama and distractions from your life. In trying to live this more centered and stress-free life, I’ve noticed a change with my health (not getting sick as much or for long periods of time), sleep improvement, and choosing healthier food options. My attitude has also gotten more positive and less angry which makes for a more pleasant outlook on life.

So when I say Me > You, it’s only in a sense that I am taking care of my needs first and making myself my number one priority.

As the kids are saying these days, “Do you!”