Solutions to My Resolutions

On January 1st, I along with millions of others will create resolutions loaded with goals and aspirations – and due to the over-analyzer that I am, I also take in consideration how I can maintain them throughout the year.

Like some of us do, we start off with our best intentions and then somewhere down the line we fall aside and are distracted by life. This year, I am determined to stay focused by putting my plan on here to hold myself accountable and perhaps some of you can identify with me and discover a method that works best for you.

By pinpointing mini-goals (or short-term goals) that ramp up to meet your long-term goals makes the process and approach less daunting and feasible. When breaking it down into smaller, more attainable goals, you are able to gain success on a frequent basis. Thus leaving you with a feeling of accomplishment and positive vibes which is much needed in order to move forward and push through!

Below are a few planning tips on how to organize your resolution, goal or aspiration in mind:

  • Identify goal
  • Develop a plan/strategy on how to get there
    • Outline a realistic plan
  • Break it down into mini-goals
    • Mini-goals should be stepping stones to meet long-term goals
  • Create a timeline and insert deadlines for mini-goals/long-term goals
    • Reward yourself when mini-goals/long-term goals are met

Here are a few tips that help me to stay focused and motivated:

  • Accountability
  • Eye on the prize
  • Tracking progress
  • Positive Attitude

I am far from perfect and after looking back on previous years, I have noticed a pattern of falling off the bandwagon around the 1 month mark. I am sharing my list of top 3 goals that include my past excuses and my proposed strategy on how to execute my strategy.

*Apologies for the janky chart – the blog doesn’t like my table format.

Goal (long-term) Plan Excuses Strategy (mini-goals)

– Tone and fit

– Weight loss

Hit the gym 3-5 days a week – Too tired

– Working late

– Unmotivated

– Social activities

– Too cold/hot

– TV/couch potato

– Find a workout buddy for accountability for encouragement and discipline

– Find a hobby/sport that tricks you into getting in your cardio and circuit training

Healthy/Clean Eating

– Calorie/sodium intake

– Clean food, less carbs

Actively work on daily habit of clean eating – Hangry (hungry + angry)

– Expensive

–  Inconvenient

– Food is tasteless

– Timely preparation

– Researching recipes that include food you enjoy

– Portion control

– Food app

– Preparing meals ahead of time


– Buying a home

– Beefing up savings account

– Adding more to my 401(k)

Save XX amount per month – Retail therapy

– Sales

– Want vs. need

– Wild spending habits

– Events/activities

– Expensive sports/gym

– Eating out vs. eating in

– Delete store email notifications

– Limit social activities

– Limit sports and entertainment

– Learn to live on a budget while adding to savings and 401(k)

Hopefully this info was helpful in way to motivate you to knock out your goals and feel successful come January 1st, 2017!!!

In the meantime, cheers to a successful 2016!!!!

Remember –  

Do…..or do not. There is no try!






MexiCANs & MexiDON’Ts – Parte Dos

Since the last blog contained insight about the Do’s and Don’ts while preparing to travel, or while traveling internationally, this one will feature more of the destination or on-site pro-tips.

Had I known the following, I wouldn’t have been stuck with so many disasters– but then again, this shit makes for a great story!

Equator Sun is the Hottest Sun!

  • Reapply sunblock every hour. The labels lie! Supposed to last 2-4 hours?! More like 5 minutes. FML.
  • Reapply lip balm with SPF! Unless you want to go on a reality show that features shotty lip injections. For the love of gawd – apply often and generously!
  • Moisturize the fuck out of your face and body – otherwise you’ll look like the next circus sideshow as a human snake with all of the peeling that will occur. Not a cute look and very itchy.

Pool Etiquette – unspoken but followed

  • Place your towel + 1 cheap, personal item to “save” your pool/beach chair. Yes folks, this is like grade school – “PLAAAAAAAAAACEBACKS!”
  • Suggested routine – place your towel (+ personal item) on the pool/beach chair early in the AM and either head back to finish sleeping or head to breakfast buffet and come back to your “saved” spot. The personal item acts as an identifier as the towels are all the same. A drunken person may argue with you and say, “You are sitting in my chair!” Since the hotel only has one type of pool towel – they are all the fucking same color!!!!
  • Suggested location – choose a spot near the bar and restroom. This makes for easy walking to either place, as well as receiving quicker service from the servers waiting on you. BOOM!
    • If the servers are fast – tip a few bucks so that they continue their GREAT service, even at an all-inclusive. Tipping goes a long ways.

How To Avoid OMB – (Old Man Balls)

  • Strategic selection of pool/beach chair.
  • Avoid eye contact when in the pool.
  • If they attempt to speak to you, claim, “No speak English!” or whatever native tongue they are using.
  • Move to a different pool, even if it’s the kiddie pool.
  • Do as many cannonballs in a row next to them as possible! This for sure works!
  • Swim in the deep end, even if it means almost drowning. #Priorities

 Bartenders/New Friends

  • Bartenders (and servers) will need to become your best friends in order to become remembered and to receive super-fast service. Some fine examples listed below will help you achieve that goal:
    • Striking up unique conversation
    • Using your unfiltered vocabulary
    • Resting your boobs on the counter
    • Bending over to pick up dropped cash
    • Tipping well/often
  • New Friends – I found these opportunities to be very helpful when trying to check-in early, having the tour bus wait for you while receiving medical attention, acquiring maximum party time on your catamaran, stealing FB photos to use at your own so you don’t have to bring your phone wherever you go, and lastly for when your new pool friends set towels out for you since they are early risers! Holler!
    • Make new friends at the check-in desk
    • Make new friends at the concierge desk/lobby
    • Make new friends on excursions
    • Make new friends at the pool area

Another reason to consider when making friends with other hotel guests/staff is that they may have access to upgrades that you may not be privy to. Food/drink for thought – top shelf that is! <wink!>

Safety – dance

  • Have someone watch your drink when walking away from your pool/beach chair. Potential roofie.
  • When clubbing south of the border – chug your entire drink upon receipt. Prime time – roofie time! The horror stories are TRUE!
  • When a guest at your all-inclusive hotel tries to drunkenly strike up convo with the opening line of, “Can I get you a drink?” Standard answer is, “No, no thanks.” Double “no” is required at times.
    • First of all, the drinks are free.
    • Second, the bartender is already making my drink.
    • Third, another roofie opportunity. Jeezus! Is this the roofie capital of the WORLD?!

All in all, this trip was an absolute blast!! I would highly recommend staying at an all-inclusive resort so that you are maximizing your liquor and food intake!

Can someone please fit me in your luggage on your next trip to somewhere tropical? Current weather status is cold, rainy slightly snowing/sleeting. Midwest weather sucks!

Calgon – taaaaaaaaaaaaaake meeeeee away!


MexiCANs & MexiDON’Ts – Parte Uno

I’ve just returned from a trip from the south of the border and thought I’d share my misadventures and disasters as well as provide insight to those who will be traveling in the near future. As you know, this shit seems to only happen to me and I couldn’t make this up if I wanted to…

Some of you have already experienced international travel and/or all-inclusive resorts, however, if you are a passport virgin, or have never traveled with a passport outside the U.S. – the following protips will be extremely handy for your next travel opportunity.

Take it from me…I’ve hit all the red flags and incurred all of the hardships such as: heavy packing, forgetting to pack certain items, red-lighted at customs, airport searched bag and medical issues all while on my recent trip to the south of the border.

Packing Do’s –

Pack with the thought in mind of where you’ll be spending most of your time.

  • Pool – pack multiple bathing suits with covers/wraps + flip flops
    • Bathing suits – packing enough suits as to not repeat a look at the pool is important. The pool is the place where you’ll be seen and judged for the entirety of your trip. Trust.
    • Covers/wraps – ensure that your covers/wraps are black or see thru so that when wet, the watermarks aren’t apparent. This wet look is not only cold, but makes you the center of unwanted attention. Trust.
    • Flip flops – necessary at the pool and surrounding areas as the floor tile is slippery! Performing splits on the fly is not something to take lightly, especially if you haven’t stretched. Trust.
  • Excursions/hiking/diving/snorkeling– proper attire and footwear should be considered
  • Hotel/Dinner dress code – check for dress code as most venues will require proper dinner attire and footwear. The elevator look (up and down) with beady, judging eyes will occur along with passive aggressive language to highly encourage you to change your wardrobe.
  • Booze holders – either bring bubble wrap or wine/bottle bags that you can blow up with air

In addition to being cognizant of packing properly for your length of stay in regards to attire and footwear, your medical supplies should also be considered. The price point to purchase these items outside the U.S. is at least double! The onsite gift shop does not give a fuck. Bitch, please!

  • Medical supplies –
    • Aspirin – the cure for when you have a 21st birthday day/night that consists of heavy drinking in the sun which results feeding the fish in the sea and topped off with a hangover. Seriously. I never learn my lesson.
    • Anti-histamine – for allergies or to mitigate swelling. AKA – bug bites. So many of them.
    • Sun protection – to prevent aging/sunburn/swollen lips
      • Body sunblock of SPF 30 – assists with preventing full body burns. Entire body on fire makes for sleepless nights and thinking of creative ways to have sex without coming into contact with 90% of burned skin. Trust.
      • Lip balm that includes SPF 30 is helpful to prevent the “lip-injection look”. Not only is this look extremely painful, it is quite embarrassing when encountering an international doctor that is at least 10 years younger than you. Doogie Howser in the hizzzouse! Pretty sure he was laughing on the inside while trying to keep a straight face. Fucker!

Packing Don’ts –

Don’t pack 5 pairs of shorts when at the pool for 5 days

  • Don’t pack 5 pairs of sandals – one pair will suffice along with flip flops and athletic shoes for hiking/travel
  • Don’t pack 5 pairs of socks and workout clothes – let’s face it, are you really going to work out on vacation? Two words, aqua aerobics. Only bathing suit necessary. Boom!

Customs – 

The new process is pretty slick now with scanning your passport bar code; however the checkpoint in the U.S. needs to have more than 4 desks open at a time when 8 planes have arrived all at once with passengers exiting simultaneously.

Meanwhile south of the border’s customs-game is strong with 40 desks open at any given time. U.S., take a lesson and get your shit together!

  • Passport OCD Protip
    • Bookmark your page in which you want your stamp to be. Otherwise your first stamp will be located in the middle of the book and your future stamps will not be in chronological order. This is killing me. Everyday. OCD life.

Destination Airport –

Avoiding eye contact with all people and making a beeline for your shuttle desk through the airport is highly recommended. Avoid anyone in a uniform that wants to “help” you with your travel bags. They do not work for the airport or the shuttle service.  Don’t speak to them at all otherwise, they now work for you. If you let them take your bags = forced tipping. Sneaky fuckers.

Hotel –

How to get early check-in without giving a blowjob or promising your first-born:

  • Look tired as fuck complete with baggy, dark circles
  • Disheveled hair
  • Wild, crazed eyes
  • Pleading in a voice dripped in desperateness

Bartering –

  • When bartering for an item, determine your max price point
  • Walk away 4 times and come back and offer slightly less than half of what they are asking
  • Buy two of what they are selling
  • Done and done

I was doing my very best to not be HM on this trip and I learned a few lessons along the way. I hope you do, too! Read, learn and repeat.

Happy travels!