Article, “17 Things To Expect When You Date A Girl Who’s Used To Being On Her Own”

OCTOBER 9, 2014
17 Things To Expect When You Date A Girl Who’s Used To Being On Her Own
Kovie Biakolo 294 Comments 3.1m 294

1. Expect her to do her own thing often and without letting you know, at least at first. It’s not that you don’t matter; it’s just that she’s learned to love doing what she wants, when she wants, and without asking permission or informing anyone.

2. She’ll probably want to take things slowly because she’ll not be used to all the attention. Don’t think she doesn’t like you enough, she probably likes you a lot; it’s just all new to her.

3. Expect her friends to be overprotective of her and to be suspicious of you at first. They’re not used to her being with someone and they’ll want to make sure you’re the kind of guy who will treat her well.

4. She’ll have a hard time letting you do things for her. Try not to take this personally. She’s just used to taking care of herself and it’ll be hard for her to live in a world where she’s got someone else looking out for her in that way.

5. Expect her to be stubborn, to always want things her way, and to fight you when she doesn’t get it. Don’t always give in to her, but do let her win sometimes.

6. She needs to be left alone often especially when you first start seeing each other and it should feel like she’s head over heels. Believe that she has more butterflies in her stomach than she knows what to do with, which is why she’ll need to compose herself.

7. Expect her to pull away from you, especially when she realizes how much she likes you. She’ll come back to you but she’ll need time to think her feelings through.

8. She’ll question you, sometimes directly, sometimes implicitly, about your feelings for her. She’ll always want to know if they are real or if she’s making things up in her head.

9. Expect her to be headstrong. She’ll tell you, “I’ve got this,” more than you’ll want to hear. But she’ll get used to your offers to help. And in time she’ll know how to let go of the tight grip she seems to have on everything.

10. She’ll be guarded, and she won’t be keen on letting you in. She’s waiting to see if you’re patient, she’s waiting to see if you’re worth it. She’s hoping that you’re worth it.

11. Expect her to be stingy with trust, to only give a little bit at a time. But every time she gives you a little, it’ll feel like a big step for her. Cherish these big steps.

12. She’ll come across as strong, maybe too strong for you at first. But don’t be intimidated, this is her outer shell. And when you get to know her, you’ll know she’s strong but soft; tough but kind.

13. Expect her to be reserved, at least about the things that matter. Until you really get to know her. And then you’ll see the untamed, raw, and always beautiful open version of her that she’ll let you fully discover.

14. She’ll be slow with her vulnerabilities, and hide many of her weaknesses. And when she shows you them, she’ll feel naked. Clothe her with your words.

15. Expect her not to need you, and not to believe in needing much of anything at all. But she’ll want you. And when she does, it’ll be the most exhilarating feeling you’ve ever experienced.

16. She’ll be scared – scared to be hurt, scared to love, and be loved. Scared that you’ll eventually hurt her or leave her and if and when that happens, she won’t know who she was before.

17. Being alone is her default, it’s her comfort zone. But expect her to fall in love with you faster than she’ll admit and in a way that isn’t loud but still powerful; it’ll be like a little bit of heaven. And it won’t matter if you love her for a while or for a lifetime; her love will change both you and her forever. (TC mark).

Featured image – Pride And Prejudice

For those that know me, I’ve previously posted this link in my social media along with an explanation that this article not only hits home, but every single numbered thought was applicable to me. It was eerie having seen these points written out and knowing that it explained me to the core.

I definitely felt vulnerable as I was reading this article, but at the same time relieved that someone was able to put this piece together that not only helped me to understand myself, but to help others understand me. I think that some of these points could also apply to my social life in regards to my friends and family.

To those out there who are independent, continue to be yourself and never settle for anything less than you deserve. Although I may write about my unsuccessful dates or horrible online encounters, I do believe that you shouldn’t compromise yourself in order to make something work.

Be you, do you and the right person will come along at the right time.

Dine & Desert

I received a message from a 28 yr old male, from an online dating site, who was complaining about how “women” are claiming to be victims when it’s the men that are the ones being victimized. I asked for further explanation on “victimized”.

Him: “Used. Like oh take me out to eat. Then he does, and never heard from her again”

Me: “If someone asks to take me out to dinner, what do you think the proper etiquette should be about the tab? I don’t expect it, but when I have been asked to go to dinner with them,  it is implied that they are paying.

I guess that can be the same for sex. Guys can/will get what they want and then never talk to the gal again.

Money vs Sex. I’d rather lose money than my dignity.”

Him: “Yeah. I always go Dutch. Why does a man have to spend money on a woman? What’s wrong with us spending our own money. Forget tradition”

Me: “I see your points on Dutch. However, tradition with how you “treat” a lady should not go away. Actions are free.”

Him: “I hear ya. Women should also know how to treat a man”

Just a few red flags here:

1.) Apparently he failed to see my point of money vs sex (that flew right over his head). 

2.) Quit bitching about how much money it takes to go on dates! Have you heard of Coffee Dates? Happy Hour? One drink maximum? It’s called ‘Meet and Greet’. Try it sometime.

3.) Last, if you’re complaining about being some sort of victim, then you obviously didn’t do your homework on the girl. Grow the fuck up, quit being a baby and go find someone else to feel sorry for you.


Intro to “Betch, please!”

Hello! I decided to start this blog as many friends have suggested I capture these comic gold moments that I have been posting on social media relating to my dating horror stories, online dating mishaps, and random encounters with jerks when out and about.

Many of these experiences outline a vast array of “what the fuck just happened” moments as well as “I cannot make this shit up” dialogue.

Don’t be surprised at my crude, vulgar and snobby comments. My blunt, spitfire remarks catch them off guard and keep them in check. Someone has to regulate! I also find their reactions (or lack thereof) to be hilarious and should be shared with all of you!

I’d also like to use this blog to not only continue to document these experiences for entertainment purposes, but to also use this as soundboard for a place to vent on whatever issues (positive or negative) on my mind, rants, memes, articles, song lyrics…anything goes!


WTFuck! – Reserved for stories that include my expression of being highly disgusted, astonishment, shock and or just plain confused.

Bitch, please! – For stories that reach a level of outrageousness, or are seen as dumb, stupid or ridiculous.

General – Life lessons, friendships, relationships, career, school, music, books, movies, home ownership, reviews, pets, etc. You get my drift.

Also, if you are offended that I may be talking about you…I probably am.

Rule #1, “Don’t be a douche”.

Happy reading!